One of my fondest Chinese memories is squatting in a public restroom with no stalls for privacy, directly across from another squatter with a lit ciggie in her mouth, a strained wrinkle on her brow and grunts which bounced around the four walls we shared. Females going to the restroom together was taken to a completely different level. Or, merely the idea of going to the restroom was taken to a level in which a Westerner, such as myself, found it momentarily challenging to grasp. That mental book of socially acceptable restroom etiquette is meaningless the second you touch ground in China.
The Toilet Paper Mystery
The Chinese invented the toilet paper 1,422 years ago. After doing my business in a Chinese public restroom, I'm left squatting over a stainless steel hole with not a single square of toilet paper in sight. At this point, I don't care if my bottom isn't pampered by Charmin's Ultra Soft tissue; A leaf would suffice! One may think that those innovative ancient Chinese genes would carry down to today's Chinese minds. But all I see is a sad failure in the toilet department after their ground breaking toilet paper invention many, many years ago.
Although scarce, there are places where you can find a roll of toilet paper nearby. They tend to be in Western restaurants such as KFC and McDonalds, or fancy restaurants and hotels. Unfortunately the Chinese restroom patrons, not used to the comfort of a roll of tissue beside them, have crazy toilet paper parties while using the facilities. And there aren't enough fúwùyuán (服务员, attendant) ladies that are willing to clean a tissue mess each hour. In conclusion, I learned to take with me my own personal supply of tissue paper. I returned home with a greater understanding and appreciation of the value of the toilet paper.
Cute Poop
China has a different view on poo and seems to be openly infatuated with it. You'll see poop piles cutely placed around the streets and sidewalks of China, drawn on English lesson activity sheets or plopped on the title of their favorite cartoon series Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf (喜羊羊与灰太狼). Poo is literally everywhere, so I quickly learned to dodge the cute little piles...I don't find them to be very cute, especially when under my shoe!
The Bottom Slit
I'm sitting at a very low table on the side of the road, eating street food when I catch a whiff of something fresh and unappetizing. I turn my head to the direction of the wind to find the culprit squatting directly behind me, making a baby poo pile. As I'd been living in Beijing for nearly two months, I turned back around to finish my chicken on a stick and boiled soy beans. An entire summer of zig-zagging around pooing babies while walking along the sidewalks, it just didn't seem to faze me. Over in China most babies rock the "assless" chaps. Diapers? They don't wear them. Why not? There's a massive list of reasons. For example, diapers can get expensive, cause rashes and other health issues, and turn China into a used diaper rubbish pile if all children in China wore disposable Huggies. As a foreigner who watches children sit on the dirty Beijing sidewalks with everything hanging out from front to back, and walks around piles everywhere and anywhere, I personally find it a bit unhealthy and...well...did I mention that I don't find poop to be cute in any shape or form?
Now that I'm home and far away from public squatters, I sometimes miss just sitting in that bent knee position. Long gone are my squatting days and long gone are baby poo piles. Although...I still bring my personal stash of toilet paper out of habit. ^^
For a bit of insight on Korean toilets, visit my South Korean blog! South Korea Toilet Variety
Great post!
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