Pumpkinlicious Inside Out

Ah, October. The month of orange. 

Orange sunsets lazily lowering their obese bodies under the sky and into the night 

Orange leaves falling and scattering about

 Orange slices dipped in a harvest-filled wheat beer

Orange glow radiating from our skin, extracting the last drops of summer

...

and

Delectable orange pumpkins.

Pumpkins

The edible and carvable and glowable fruit. This massive squash head, filled with delicious beta carotene antioxidants, is a central theme of October. And just as the Chinese don't let any bit of the duck go to waste (yup, they even eat the head), I use every bit of the pumpkin, from stem to guts.  

Jackie-Oh!

You don't need that trip to Target and that extra money for arts and crafts supplies. You don't need a special "Do It Yourself" Jack-O-Lantern kit. Just get a knife from your kitchen. (Though, use caution when carving around kids.) We all have some special creative talent within us. Sketch a face on the pumpkin with a sharpie and stab at it! 

Prior to prodding out the eye sockets or mouth and nose, carve a hat at the top and scoop out all the guts and seeds with your bare hands. Yes, your bare hands! Scrape any excess gut strings, plop it all in a bowl, and put the bowl in the fridge for later use. 

When creating your super awesome personalized pumpkin, consider what you want this big orange head to look like. Carve a glowing mustache below a ridiculously ugly nose. Or a Stephen King's sci-fi Langolier mouth with glowing lips. Tribal tattoo and tramp stamp uncertainties can be explored on a pumpkin, too. Or carve your ex's face to later throw at his window. Either way, just create and carve. There is nothing to lose, and a great amount of creepy Jack to gain.
And by the way, while creating your personalized Jack, I highly recommend sipping on a pumpkin ale for the full-bodied pumpkin experience.  

Pumpkin Belly

When considering extra vitamin A and zinc intake, take a long and thoughtful look at all those pumpkin guts you're about to toss into the trash. Squashing warm orange slop through your fingers is disturbingly fun, but so is creating something delicious out of those guts. 

Recipes coming from the inside of a pumpkin are infinite. 

Pumpkin Pie

Pumpkin Seeds

Pumpkin Ale

Pumpkin Bread

Pumpkin Cookies

Pumpkin Soup

Pumpkin Curry

Pumpkin Pancakes

etc, etc, etc!

Do you get the picture of how amazing pumpkins are at this point??

My first two rounds of October pumpkin fun consisted of seeds and pie. I'm not a baker, and if you're not either, no worries. Google "Easy pumpkin pie recipe" and BAM. You are an instant pro. 

The seeds. Throw seasoned salt on the seeds, and a bit of oil on the pan. Chuck it in the oven at 350, and begin the pie! 

The pie. Blend some eggs, evaporated milk, spices and real sugar together until it's a puree. Pour the puree into a crusted pie tray. Toss it in the oven next to the seeds. 

Drink some more pumpkin ale while you wait for these delicacies to brown, and listen to the Monster Mash...over and over again...

And then, when the pumpkin pie is settled nicely in your belly, and nights pass on, filled with an orange, creepy glow outside at your front porch, the Jack-O-Lantern loses his grip on life. He becomes lazy and hairy. His hard shell softens and weakens. His bottom becomes juicy and his smile wrinkles and folds. Jack unfortunately goes downhill, taking a bad turn in life.

So when your Jack is sent away to the compost pile, don't be sad. It's just time to move on and buy a replacement. Sorry, Jack #1, but Jack #2 has more pulp, more seeds, and more fun to offer.